There Is No Balance With An Illness: I Just Fall

I feel like I’m walking a very narrow walk-way without knowing where the drop-offs are. Not just that though… even if I could see clearly where they’re at, that doesn’t change the fact that they move on me. Once this walk-way was nice and clear and safe, now it’s a drop-off… Good to know. Oh wait, I didn’t know. I just fell.

So what on Earth am I talking about?

Well, to be fair, I don’t even know what I did do to cause the massive amounts of muscle pain that I have right now. I didn’t know I fell off of the stupid “drop-off” until I was suffering from the effects of having fallen. It came as such a shock to me, when I woke up, got out of bed, went to walk, and fell (Literally fell, bet you didn’t see that coming?). Lots of stabbing horrible pain from my calf muscles. I don’t know if it was the shock of the pain or that I was just unprepared to support myself through the pain, but down I went.

Maybe it was my staying up too late that caused it. I’m not sure why exactly lack of sleep causes muscle pain, but I can’t think of anything else that I have done recently that would make my body so pissy. But whatever. I’ll deal (and I really really try not to think about the fact that I have no choice but to deal with it).

Another drop-off that I had the pleasure of finding? Alcohol and me had a fight. It won. I ended up waking up on the bathroom floor very disoriented. Oh, and I do so love throwing up blood. Fun. Gives me joy. You should try it (Ok, I’ll try to cut back on the sarcasm… try..). I know that alcohol and me do not particularly get along at times, but I wasn’t drinking in excess… in fact, I’ve had much more to drink in the past than I did last night. Also, I like to think that every other college student, many of whom seem to major in drinking, aren’t all throwing up blood and then passing out on the bathroom floor (and let’s just be honest here and say that they are drinking WAY more than I did last night). Yeah, I know, not every other college student has Loeys-Dietz Syndrome either. I bet they’re jealous..

I probably shouldn’t have had alcohol on the same night that I fainted and fell on my head anyway.

I’m not the brightest.

Don’t tell my professors though. They’re still passing me for some crazy odd reason. Although, that may change after my test on Monday.

So yeah, life as a PhD student with a chronic illness rocks and I can totally do this.

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