Dear….

…Skin,

How do you manage to not only get cut, but scar so easily?!? Seriously, the pant fabric wasn’t even ripped and I have a scar? Toughen up.

Dear Heart,

They say everyone marches to the beat of their own drum… That does NOT MEAN YOU!!! Stay in rhythm dude!!

Dear Joints,

Keep it together guys! Seriously.. you have one job. Just one. I know it’s not fully your fault. Misters Ligaments and Tendons can’t get their acts straight, but you gotta show them how it’s done Joints! Work on it. Please. Okay?

Dear Muscles,

You got this… you’re tough. There is absolutely no reason you should come crying to me every time you feel like you can’t handle something and my waking up with you hurting is not acceptable. How strenuous can sleeping really be?! Seriously. Stop with the hurting ok?

Dear Brain,

I know that Mr. Muscles is pissing you off (especially in the neck area)… I’m working on it. Just back the f*** off with your constant headaches ok? Got it? Good…

Dear GI Tract,

I don’t even know… I mean, do YOU even know what you’re doing? Kudos on not letting me get fat, but at least let me keep some of the weight ok?

Dear Kidneys,

Put the blood back into the bloodstream. You cannot keep it and It does not belong in urine.

That concludes our monthly meeting. You all  have your assignments now. Please work on them and do better…

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Am I Strong Enough?

I’m a little overwhelmed.

For nearly a year now I’ve pretty much had a break from the “patient world”. I went to doctor appointments but they were rare and only once every couple of months. Each appointment was an “ending” since I was moving. It was nice to be able to go to a doctor with the attitude that I wouldn’t see that doctor again. I almost felt like a normal healthy person who doesn’t have 5-10 different specialists and weird tests scheduled that most people haven’t heard of.

I felt healthy and normal.

So now that I’ve moved and entered into a huge medical hospital community for my health insurance and now that I have a diagnosis to give to the doctors everything has become so much more real. I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t know how to join my two worlds into one. How do you bring the “weak vulnerable patient” world to the “confident hard-working PhD student” world? I don’t know..

Today, for example, I was studying and working on my research and I was freezing. So I took my temperature and it read 96:

I gotta admit though that it is nice to have validation of what I'm feeling..

I gotta admit though that it is nice to have validation of what I’m feeling..

Ok. So I have a reason to feel like I’m freezing. But it’s distracting and I need to take care of it and that’s going to interfere with my work. But whatever. It is what it is. I took a bath to warm up and that worked but way overshot the mark and my temperature went up to 99.4.

Woops

Whoops..

I felt like crap. The sudden change made me feel horrible but I ignored it and went on studying, trying to make up the time I lost with the bath.

But this is the thing that worries me the most: Am I actually really weak? I’m I just using this illness and how poorly I feel as an excuse? Does everyone feel this way and really they’re just so much stronger and better at getting through it and hiding it than I am?

So maybe that’s why I don’t want to combine my two worlds. I’m afraid of being looked at as weak. I’m afraid that people will automatically lower their expectations of me. Most of all, I’m afraid that I really am weak and that if anyone stepped in my shoes they would achieve so much more than I have and could, but with a lot less tears and pain and insecurity.

I think soon though, I won’t have a choice. I’ve entered back into the “patient” world. In less than two weeks I have three MRAs, one echocardiogram, and a cardiology appointment scheduled. After that I have a neurology and GI appointment. I am also supposed to schedule a glucose tolerance test at some point too. It’s a lot and a bit overwhelming with the work that I already have from my “PhD student” world.

At this point, I just really don’t know what to do or how to handle it. I’m taking it one day at a time and praying that everything works out.

I just really really want to be strong enough for everything.

I Slept The Day Away

I’ve been exhausted. Like spend-99%-of-my-time-wanting-to-cry-because-I’m-so-tired exhausted. PhD school is exhausting with a lot more work involved than I knew. For example: Monday through Friday, I wake up in time for my 8am class which lasts till 10am, I then walk to the lab where I do my research till 4-5pm. Somewhere in there I need to find time to study (Did I mention that anything below an 80% is considered a failing grade?). That alone is exhausting.

But for a Loeys-Dietz Syndrome patient, and a newly diagnosed one at that, things start to get a little more complicated. So let’s take away the fact that LDS itself causes pain (pain takes up so much energy… It’s unbelievable..) and focus just on the doctor appointments and tests required.

I haven’t had any scans since getting diagnosed and it’s starting to drive me insane. I know now that I’m more likely to have aneurysms. I know that I’ve had doctors who thought that I might have an aneurysm (which never got checked). I know that my grandfather currently has three aneurysms. I do NOT know, however, IF I have any aneurysms. And that’s driving me insane. I just want to know what little ticking time bombs I’m living with… I want to move on with this diagnosis and my life.

So I made an appointment with a doctor at student health services to get the scans set up, along with an echocardiogram, and get referrals to any specialists I might need. The appointment started off with the nurse saying “Oh, we don’t even have Loeys-Dietz listed in our system as a disease”. That’s when I started to have my doubts. But I gave the nurse, to give to the doctor, my latest genetic report, my genetic results, and a few papers I had printed off about Loeys-Dietz.

To my surprise, the doctor came in after having clearly read the papers. Mind you, she was still very lost about what Loeys-Dietz was and how to handle it, but she was obviously very interested to find out (read “she ordered a lot of tests”. My thyroid’s fine. I have proof. Again). But the end result of this first appointment, along with the follow-up one I had had two weeks after, is that I now have three MRAs scheduled for the end of the month and many specialist appointments in the near future. The doctor wants to set me up with a: cardiologist, neurologist, neurovascular surgeon, pulmonologist (this one has a bit of a backstory that I’ll go over at another time), and a gastroenterologist. She also tried to set up an appointment with a rheumatologist but I said no to this one.

But the point I’m trying to make here, is somehow I need to do the PhD thing between 8am-5pm every day while taking time to study after 5pm (because it’s definitely not happening before 8am). And somehow finding time somewhere to see these specialists and get the scans. Doing a PhD program and being a full-time patient is intense.

I’m exhausted.

So today I slept the entire day and it felt wonderful.

Graduation Day

Today was my graduation day. I officially have a Master of Science degree in Biology. I had huge doubts as to whether I would ever see this day. I assumed that at some point I would just give up and drop out. When I think about all that went into getting that degree…

My graduate career started a few weeks even before classes starting when I told my family doctor about my education plans. He advised me that I should not attempt graduate school. That the state of my health was precarious and taking on such a stressful task would be ill-advised. By the time classes started, I was beginning to think that he was right. Within the first week of classes I was already missing school because of an emergency scheduled heart catherization test. Once that test came back negative (thank God), it took just a few more tests and  finally the Tilt Table Test which diagnosed my dysautonomia. After this initial large hurdle, however, I started my beloved beta-blocker (we’re tight.. it’s a love-love relationship) and things got easier for that first year of graduate school. Every now and then I’d have a problem and I’d have to adjust my meds, but it was manageable.

What I hadn’t counted on, however, was the toll that school and work and the stress of it all was taking on my body all throughout grad. school. This became clear by my last semester of classes.

I started off that semester wearing an Event Monitor for the first three weeks. I was the girl wearing the funny electrodes and attached to a machine that occasionally “beeped”. This was the semester that I was in a doctor’s office every other week, I was in the ER a couple of times, I had countless medical tests, and once again I was missing classes for being sick.

Things were starting to drastically go from bad to much much worse. I was throwing up blood and lost over 10% of my weight, but the end was in sight. I managed to finish out the semester and the last of my classes required for my degree. I was very fortunate that I had one sympathetic professor who didn’t mind that I was half comatose in his class, with my head on the desk nearly every day, and another professor who liked me based on previous performances as an undergraduate student (I went to the same school for both undergrad. and grad.).

After that semester I slowly dragged myself back to health with rest, relaxation, and thesis writing. So while I never fully believed I could do it, especially in that last semester when things got so difficult, I successfully wrote and defended my thesis and graduated today!

Also, apparently, I’m very talented at pretending to be excellent when actually I’m just trying to get by.

Notice my feeble attempt to remain anonymous despite knowing that probably half of you already know who I am..

Notice my feeble attempt to remain anonymous despite the fact that probably half of you already know who I am..

ER Update

I rarely go to the ER. In recent memory, I have only gone twice before. The first time I thought I was dying (Spoiler alert: I didn’t). The second time I wanted to make sure my kidneys were ok (This trip earned me my first nephrology appointment). But the point here is that I rarely rarely go. Normally I go to an Urgent Care clinic or I make a doctor appointment. I just don’t do ERs. And I especially don’t go for something like pain… I can put up with that at home right? Wrong. So very wrong!

To be fair… I attempted to go to the Urgent Care clinic first.

To be honest… I really didn’t put up a fight when they suggested the ER.

My day started off alright. I woke up with no pain. Walked over to the mirror in no pain. Then I stretched. PAIN!! All of a sudden something cracked in my neck, my muscles all went into spasm, and I could no longer move my head without excruciating pain. I also had a wave of panic that I had seriously screwed up my spine. I was terrified that one wrong move would result in something worse than pain. I get a little paranoid when it comes to my spine.

So I took a shower, hoping that the warm water would relax it. When that didn’t work, I called my mom (yes, I still call my mommy when I’m sick) telling her what happened and that I was going to go to Urgent Care. Once there, I sat in the waiting room for 2 very painful hours. When I was finally taken back, they performed an xray which showed that the vertebrae were fine. Then the lovely doctor came in, told me everything was good, that I could go home, and that I should take Tylenol for the pain. That was the point where I burst into tears. Sobbing that Tylenol did nothing and that my stomach couldn’t take any more NSAIDs (Throwing up blood? Yeah, not fun.). I think that was also the point where the doctor finally realized how much pain I was truly in. He suggested I go to the ER to get a CT scan and get it looked at better. So that’s what I did. The end result was that there was no new damage to my spine, but my muscles were being completely pissy. Thankfully they sent me home with a muscle relaxer and some vicodin.

It took about a week for the meds to relax the muscles. That was pretty much the week from h*ll.

In other news… I got a new toy!

Dammit doll 1Dammit doll 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m sure this will come in handy in the future!

It’s Not About You…

Dealing with a chronic illness is never easy. There are ups and downs and more sorrow than you can imagine or that can possibly be explained. So here’s a blanket statement that might make it a tad easier for friends and family to deal with: It’s not about you.

I know this may seem rude, but it’s really not meant to be. It’s just something that should be kept in mind.

It’s not about you… when I’m anxious. Chances are I’m scared or nervous about an upcoming appointment. Each appointment is like a huge question mark about whether the doctor will help me, blow me off, or call me a liar. They are nerve-wracking and terrifying and I get anxious right before the appointment and unfortunately respond with grumpiness.

It’s not about you… when I’m quiet. Pain and exhaustion take up a lot of energy and attention. If I’m being quiet, it’s not because I’m mad or angry at you. Most of the time I’m just hurting. A lot.

It’s not about you… when I don’t want to share. I live with my illness 100% of the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week… etc. Sometimes I just want to escape it. Sometimes I want to pretend that the doctor appointments don’t happen. That the medical tests are not a reality. My not opening up and telling you all about it does not mean that I do not trust you or that I’d rather keep things from you. It might just mean that I want to keep it from myself for a little.

It’s not about you… when I cancel plans. Ok, this one may seem obvious, but I feel it needs re-stating. If I cancel plans, it’s not because I don’t want to see you or don’t want to hang out, but is instead probably due to the fact that I’m not feeling well. Some days I look and act perfectly normal so it’s hard to remember that I am sick.

It’s not about you… when I’m angry. Unless I tell you straight out that I’m angry at you, don’t assume I am. I watch every day as people do things that I should also be able to do. I feel weak, insecure, tired, pained, and half of the time I feel like I’m a failure. It makes me so angry to know that I could do so much more if I didn’t have to suffer with this. So I get angry when I see or think about things that others do so easily.

I have a chronic illness and I do the best I can in order to get by day to day. Most of the time all I ask from my family and friends is a little understanding.

Life Doesn’t Stop With an Illness

This fact is how I found myself going to three doctor appointments in the last 2 or 3 weeks while studying/taking the GRE, doing lab research for my major, and working. One or two of those things would prove challenging for anyone. But combine all of them? Yup, I was a nervous, anxious, exhausted mess. It was miserable. I cried. Don’t judge.

So let’s go over the doctor appointments. I had two with specialists (Gastroenterologist and Cardiologist) and one with my family doctor. Unfortunately all of the above have no idea what to do with me.  I shouldn’t really be surprised. This is what happens when you have a rare disease or two (See my genetics appointment post if you don’t remember). Doctors tell you that they haven’t heard of your disease since Med. School. I would be ok with this if they were just honest about not knowing what to do. If they did research to actually be able to help me, or, if they aren’t going to do the proper work, they referred me to a doctor who could potentially help me. I’m tired of living in limbo with a horrible quality of life. Every day should not be this much of a struggle. After my cardiologist appointment I went into a stairwell to cry. Her solution, RIGHT AFTER reading my genetics report and admitting to not knowing the potential diagnoses, was to raise my medication dosage. My GI appointment resulted in a futile ultrasound to check my perfectly normal gallbladder. I had a feeling it would be normal, but I was so thrilled that she was finally looking into other reasons for my pain and weight-loss that I was willing to try it her way. It was a stupid mistake. Tests are exhausting, both physically and mentally. I shouldn’t put myself through that unless I have faith in my doctor and their conclusions/thoughts. As for my Family doctor? Yeah, he spent the first part telling me how complex my case is, how rare my issues are, then spent the second half telling me that my weight-loss could be due to stress and a therapist might help. Sorry. Not good enough. My conditions are known to be associated with complications resulting in weight-loss. Serious complications that I am worried about. And if he had done any research, at all, he would have known this himself. So yeah, I struck out on all three appointments. At this rate, I’m just waiting for my next genetics appointment and am going to go from there. It’s in December so that’s not too long from now. After that, I need to seriously reconsider my current doctors.

Onto the GRE. Have I ever mentioned that I suck at standardized tests? I do. Really really suck. The test was horrible. I cried after that too. Mind you, I’m going to blame poor scores on the fact that the power went out right before my test. So I had to wait an hour before I could even begin it. Sigh. At least it’s over and my scores are good enough that I can still apply to PhD programs. So that’s happy.

Overall, my life has been busy and stressful and hectic. It’s very hard dealing with both my illness and my day-to-day life. I am still trying to find a balance between being sick and being a normal person. I have to make allowances for my health or else I could lose everything. I just hate feeling that making allowances means that I am weak and less than anyone else. I hate having to admit that I am tired or pained or just not feeling well. Unfortunately I can’t separate my life from my health. I have to combine them and I have to make them play nice.

I Wish I Just Had A Common Cold

Dealing with other people who have the common cold or an infection or some other virus that will eventually go away is something that I really struggle with.

It’s hard for me to listen to the whining and complaining.

It’s hard for me to see that person completely stop everything for a few days in order to get better.

It’s hard for me to be sympathetic.

It’s hard for me to stop myself from screaming GET OVER IT.

It’s hard.

Because…

I hurt. I hurt a lot. Every single day. I’ve literally screamed out from the pain. In fact, I do that multiple times a week. I’ve walked hunched over from the pain. It’s on the cameras in my dorm. I have the proof. Unfortunately. It’s not something I’d want others to see. So I hurt.

I won’t complain. if I complained every time I felt bad, every time I hurt, every time I thought I couldn’t handle it any more… I would complain every day. I don’t want to live with that. And frankly I wouldn’t have any friends if I did that. So even if I wanted to complain I won’t because I feel censored.

I can’t stop and just rest. This thing I deal with? Yeah, it’s going to be there for the rest of my life. I’m not going to be cured. There are barely any treatments (if any at all). So I can’t rationalize taking time off and just stopping everything for my illness. I would have to stop my life. And then what? What is worth at that point?

For that week that most people spend sick.. imagine living with that. Everyday for the rest of your life. I would like to think that earns me something. Some consideration when talking to me. Some help if I’m struggling. Something. Especially when I actually do take a rare moment and indulge in my pain and actually complain. For me to admit that I’m struggling and having a rough time is big. It’s not something I like doing. It’s a cry for help.

Unfortunately because it’s my “normal” or because I don’t look sick, my cry for help gets ignored.

So let’s have a reminder. Even when I’m functioning like a normal person…

I have still been dealing with weight loss. This is a serious sign of an illness. Why then is it so hard for me to make others realize the significance? (I have a fear that it is because they are jealous)

I have pain more days than not.  For doing things that most people take for granted. Working 8 hours kills me. I can barely walk home. When I say my muscles hurt, I have the CK levels to back it up. Eating hurts. Isn’t that supposed to be a pleasure in life?

I struggle to sleep most nights. How rejuvenating is a good night’s sleep? I wish I knew.

I have heart symptoms daily. Things that would send a normal person to the hospital. Yes, most of mine are benign. But I have proven a flutter, R on T phenomena, PACs that drop me in a dead faint, etc…

I stand up most nights just to drop down again in a faint. Have you ever fainted? It’s hard to control how you land? I’ve broken glass before. I’ve hit my head before. I’ve landed and sprained my joints before.

These things are my “normal”. These things are day to day realities for me and something that I won’t normally complain about. So when I do complain? Imagine then how much worse I must be feeling. I wish so much that it would matter to those around me. I wish for people to understand this and to have compassion. I wish for them to actually realize what exactly it means when I say “I don’t feel well”. I wish that saying those words would give me a break. Would let me be able to put down my guard just a little. I wish for all this so very much.

But it seems that it’s all given to people with a normal cold. One that goes away.

So I’m jealous.

So I’m working on it.

But it’s hard.

 

 

My average day: living with Ehlers Danlos and its little friends act 2

The good, the bad, and the ugly (oh, and it was ugly…)

Some background story to this day:  at around 3am I tried to go to sleep. I usually have problems sleeping so like the idiot I often am (as far as my health is concerned) I sometimes drink an alcoholic beverage to help me off into dream-land. I nursed one drink over a period of four hours and then finally went to bed at 3am. I got home from work at 11pm, so the 3am is not as bad as it sounds!

So my day officially started at 6am, when my alarm went off to take my meds. I got up and was instantly light-headed and nauseous. I quickly realized that the whole “being vertical” thing was not going to work for any extended period of time, including what little time it took to find my meds and take them. This happened with my finding the bottle, dropping the pill, leaning over and puttying my head between my legs to gain enough time to find the pill before fainting, find the pill, take it and then fall back into bed. I woke up again at 8am feeling much more nauseous and headed to the bathroom (Yay! I had at least dropped the whole light-headed business!) in order to spend the next half hour or so hugging the toilet throwing up. Now, I get that this is probably my body’s equilibrium being totally thrown off by the ONE alcoholic drink I had over a four hour time period, FIVE hours prior to the throwing up incidence, but it seems a little extreme. All this to say… my body gets grumpy. Soooo after the bout of throwing up, I went back to bed (Thank God my first class was at 1pm. I got to…attempt…to sleep in!). My alarm went off for a second time at 12pm and I hit the snooze, but quickly realized that the snooze was not a good idea so back off to the bathroom I went! This time, however, it was the other end that was grumpy (I had promised the ugly remember?). So I spent the next twenty minutes on the toilet having an attack of diarrhea only to find out that the there was more blood than anything else in the toilet bowl…seriously, the water was pink with deep red on the bottom. This whole blood in bowel movements is not a new thing for me, but this time had a LOT of blood. I probably should eventually make that GI call and go through with the colonoscopy, but I’m a chicken. 

Twenty minutes on the toilet gave me a lot of time to flirt with the idea of skipping class or not. I even went as far as to open my email and start composing a “Hi, I’m sick..” message to my professor before deciding that going to class was probably in my best interest, at least as far as my neuroses about my grades are concerned. So I trudged off to class and sat in the class feeling half-dead while I semi-listened to what was going on. After class I went off to my research lab and did some of the dishes (ie. autoclaving beakers and flasks) then went off to lunch with my lab-partner with a brief stint in the college book store. I laid on the floor in the book store while my lab-partner tucked a college teddy-bear in my arms. I don’t think he knows what to do with me half the time when I’m sick. I mean, technically I’m always sick but it does go through periods where it’s worse than normal and I’m not as capable of hiding it. 

So now, I’m back at home feeling entirely spent and exhausted. Lately things have been rather grumpy for me (LOTS and LOTS of pain). At least for the most part though, you wouldn’t have been able to tell I was feeling so sick 😀 I still act and look completely normal and healthy. 

My average day: living with Ehlers Danlos and its little friends act 1

The problem with having a rare illness, whether it is rare because it simply doesn’t occur often or because it is under-diagnosed, is that you don’t know how it can affect you. Every ache or pain or abnormal symptom could be from the rare disease or it could be something new. So eventually you start to look for others’ who have the disease and you form a community (There are many amazing Ehlers Danlos groups on facebook) and in this community you are able to share similar symptoms and eventually get to know what to look for in the disease and what to expect. When I was first made aware of this disease I scoured the internet to find patient experiences and what actually living with the disease was like. You can read a medical link that will tell you which symptoms are associated with Ehlers Danlos, but it doesn’t quite compare to knowing what a patient deals with on a daily basis. So I plan on dedicating some blogs to that daily experience. This is the first one:

 

Living with EDS and its friend POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome):

My day started with my alarm going off at 7am so that I can take my medications. I go back to bed (Thank God! I have enough trouble sleeping as it is!). I wake up about a half hour before my alarm goes off due to the pain in my lower back. I curl up in the fetal position to try to alleviate it some before I have to get up and be active. The alarm goes off and I reluctantly get out of bed, feeling as exhausted as I did when I went to bed the night before. I walk around my bed, in order to open my blinds, cracking various joints in place as I walk. *crack* there goes my left hip, that one’s a “trouble” joint for me. *Crack crack crack* and now we have left knee, somewhere in my back, ankle.. I finally get to the window and decide to stretch. Big mistake. I get lightheaded, dizzy, start to loose feeling in my extremities and can no longer see. I thrash out, hitting a teapot and then fall to the ground as I fully lose control and start to twitch and spasm. Within a minute or two I gain back my senses, wake up enough to realize what happened and to stand back up. Luckily this time I fell on a pile of pillows that I took off my bed the night before. I check my teapot to make sure I didn’t break it on the way down (Yay! It’s still good!) and finally open the blinds. I then take a shower and go about getting ready to go into my research lab (Bio major grad students unite!). 

While in the lab I take in all the various aches and pains. The muscles of my legs and back hurt. My back muscles are visibly swollen and feel like a rod running up along my spine. I guess that’s from the hypermobile spine and the extra work the muscles put in just trying to stay vertical. I sit down in lab as often as possible. Standing hurts and I begin to get light-headed if I stand for too long so I’m either sitting or leaning against something. At one point while moving around in the lab I experience a run of palpitations. I just ignore the “flip-flops” going on in my chest and continue my work. Also while moving around the lab, I’m in constant pain from my unstable joints. You can hear *Crack! Pop! Snap!* as I move as the joints constantly shift, some subluxing and then relocating. I finish with the work  in the lab and make a trip to the hospital to see if some of my test results from the day before are available yet. The EMG resutls are in and yay for no myopathy or neuropathy! Although I am disappointed that I still do not have an answer as to what is causing some of my symptoms. I do have some difficulty reading the results. Lately my eyesight has gotten very blurry, especially with writing and it is causing me to have significant difficulty while reading at times. I’m hoping the MRI results will shed some light on possible causes. I’m also waiting for the results of my MRA before I can start my one new medication (Midodrine). I want to make sure that there are no abnormalities in my brain vessels before I start a drug that is known to have dangerous elevations in supine blood pressure.

Then I go get lunch. I don’t eat breakfast because it makes me sick and nauseous to eat so soon after waking up. For lunch I eat at Taco Bell. I used to love drinking their flavored Mt. Dew soda, but I can’t handle the caffeine anymore. It shoots my heart-rate up to 130+ easily and causes horrible heart palpitations. So now I settle for drinks that do not have as high of a caffeine content. Once I’m done with my food, I struggle to get out of the seat. I was sitting in a booth and unfortunately I have to get out on my left side. Being my “trouble joint” and all, my hip likes to slide out of place at any given opportunity. So I support myself on the table and *crack* my hip back into place before I’m able to put my full weight on it. Before I learned this little trick, I used to try to place weight on it right away and would get a STABBING pain and fall as my hip gave out, unable to support the weight. Thankfully I’ve realized its game. Every now and then I forget and do fall though. 

After lunch my day’s over! So here I am writing this blog. I’m currently laying on my bed typing away. My back hurts from being in the same position for too long. My ankles are unhappy with their positioning as well. The knees are starting to ache and eventually I’ll have to move them. My wrists are not pleased with the typing (*crack* *crack*). This is my average amount of pain. It is manageable and is no where near as bad as it can get. This is also a relatively lazy day for me. It’s spring break and classes are not going on. I am trying to take advantage of the chance to rest.

That ends today’s activities and I believe it’s time for me to get off the computer. The words are blurring together and my wrist has *cracked* five times now…err…six… within the past twenty minutes (seven -_- ). Definitely my disease presents some problems that I have to work around, but it’s my “average” now and as far as days go, this wasn’t a bad one. 

Until next time Dear Reader 🙂