New Year’s Resolutions

With this year almost over and the new one soon to start, I’m reminded of the New Year’s Resolution I made. Having reached my highest weight last year of 133 pounds I decided, like most people, to get fit and lose weight with the new year. My Resolution was to lose 5 pounds. I wanted to get back to around 127 pounds where I’d been for the past five years or so.

Those of you who have followed my blog for a while now can probably see where I’m going with this…

Be careful what you wish for.

133lbs - 5lbs does NOT equal 117lbs!!

133lbs – 5lbs does NOT equal 117lbs!!

Yeah, I overshot my mark. By 10 pounds. Go me. Not.

I started the Resolution by doing what I normally do: Nothing. I’m horrible at keeping up with my resolutions. Losing weight is a lot of work and food is so yummy. Especially things like brownies and cupcakes and pizza… Yum! So I did absolutely nothing to achieve my goal of losing 5 pounds for the first three or four months of the New Year.

And then I got sicker.

And then I started to lose weight.

A lot of weight.

So I lost the 5 pounds, but it didn’t stop there. The 10 pound mark came and went too. Once I hit the 15 pound point though, I was afraid. I had no idea why I was losing weight and I didn’t know how to stop it. So I went from wanting to lose weight to wanting to gain weight. I started to drink Ensure Plus for weight gain. The irony was not lost on me.

While I’m not gaining much of the weight back, I seem to have stopped losing it. I’m very thankful for that. There is nothing quite so terrifying as losing a large amount of weight (over 10%) and not knowing why. Only really sick people lose weight like that. I couldn’t imagine myself as being that sick. I still don’t know if I was. Maybe I wasn’t. Maybe I’m still in denial.

Now that another New Year is about to begin, I keep wondering what this year’s Resolution will be. I don’t think I’m going to make one. I’m just hoping the next year will be better than the last.